WASHINGTON (AP) — President Trump on Monday said Democratic‑led states are experiencing “heavier gravity” due to energy choices and dietary habits that “add mass, weight, and emotional heaviness to the Earth.” He said the issue “doesn’t affect red states at all,” calling it “a blue‑state problem, like tofu or commuter rail.”
In the speech, the President outlined four main causes for what he described as a “dangerous gravitational imbalance.”
Electric Vehicles
The President argued that electric cars are the “number one reason” gravity is stronger in blue states, stating that the combined weight of millions of EV batteries “increases the gravity in places like California and New York.” He said he discussed the matter in a “very scientific” conversation with Elon Musk.
“He told me, ‘Sir, batteries add mass.’ And mass is gravity. Everybody knows that. Red states drive normal cars, so their gravity stays normal. Very normal.”
Solar Panels
In addition, President Trump warned that solar panels “capture and store photonic energy, and the weight of all those photons adds up.”
“People don’t understand this,” he said. “It’s not complicated. A normal roof reflects the sunlight — it goes back into space, very light, very harmless. But when you catch those photons solar panels, you’re holding onto all that photonic energy. You keep enough of it — millions and millions of photons on millions of homes — and the state gets heavier. Much heavier. And when a state gets heavier, it has more gravity. That’s just basic physics, really.”
Wind Turbines
Trump went on to attack wind turbines. “Blue states use wind,” he said. “They spin those giant blades, they squeeze the air, they make it dense — very dense. Heavy air. Sad air. And heavy air means more gravity.”
He contrasted this with red states, which he said “use beautiful, traditional coal,” claiming that coal smoke helps reduce gravity.
“People don’t know this,” Trump said. “Coal puts tiny particles into the air — wonderful particles — and those particles float. They float! They lighten the atmosphere. They reduce mass. They make red states lighter and happier. It’s uplifting energy. Literally uplifting.”
Left‑Wing Foods
Finally, he added “heavy Democrat gas” to the list of causes.
“All that kale, quinoa, oat milk — very dense foods. Very dense. Republican gas rises. It’s lighter, happier. Democrat gas sinks. It’s like a bowling ball. People don’t talk about it, but they should.”
Reactions
Scientists reacted with a cocktail of irritation, disbelief, and second-hand embarrassment for the nation, with several pausing at times as if they were reaching for the bourbon.
Dr. Marissa Kline, a physicist at MIT, said, “What? Gravity can’t vary by state. EV batteries don’t change planetary mass. And there’s no such thing as ‘sunlight weight.’ Photons don’t have mass. How can anyone think this makes any sense?”
Physicists contacted by the Associated Press stated plainly that no such effect exists, adding that they were “deeply annoyed” by the inquiry and “concerned that this conversation is actually happening in a developed nation.”
A spokesperson for the National Academy of Sciences issued a brief written statement: “Gravity is not a partisan phenomenon. We regret the need to clarify this.”
Trump’s Closing Remarks
President Trump ended his briefing by promising to “restore normal, patriotic gravity.”
“We’re going to bring gravity back to the levels we had in the 1950s. Perfect gravity. Proud gravity. Before solar panels, before windmills, before the kale. We’re going to fix it.”
Supporters celebrated the announcement, praising Trump for “finally telling the truth about gravity” and calling the briefing “the most scientific explanation we’ve ever heard.” Several said they felt “lighter already,” while others vowed to avoid solar panels “at least until the gravity crisis is solved.”
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